Butterfly Baby

Things I loathe:

• Loud talkers... seriously day after day of wearing ear phones to drown out your damn voice is really annoying. YOU ARE NOT IN AN OFFICE SO TONE IT DOWN!
• People telling me what they're going to get me off of my registry. I appreciate the gift but can't it be a bit of a surprise?
• People at work who complain about benefits the company gives. There's a BBQ next week and some particular loud talker is complaining that the time doesn't suit her. The VP basically said, too bad. She went over her head to the President to complain. REALLY!!! Are you THAT important? Suck it up! We have a job where they are extremely flexible and hardly demand overtime. If they want to hold a freakin' BBQ from 5 pm - 8 pm, make arrangements to be there!!! Sheesh!!!
• Carpal Tunnel Syndrome associated with the bloating pregnancy gives you. I love being pregnant but God, my fingers and wrist hurt!
• Not sleeping. I love sleep. Hate not getting it. I know I know, doesn't bode well for future events.

 

Things I love:

• Bon Jovi playing a free concert. I've already sent my email in for 2 tickets. I'm hoping I get them since I can't be at any of the distribution locations. Let us pray!
• Feeling Drew kick. It's amazing when he does, although he tends to be rather quiet... I'm hoping he'll get more active because I really love every kick and tug I feel.
• Listening to the baby's heart beat.. it's just the best sound in the world.
• Having Andrew home. I missed him so much, it's nice to have him back even though he irritates the bejesus out of me in the morning! I adore him, still, after all these years and can't picture my life without him!
• E=MC2, still. I know... whatever. It's my list. :-P

Bon Jovi

New York officials say Bon Jovi will play at a free concert in Central Park on July 12. The concert is billed as a prelude to the July 15 Major League Baseball All-Star game, which will highlight the final season at Yankee Stadium.

The event will be announced this afternoon during a press conference at New York's City Hall, including details of ticket distribution.

Bon Jovi wraps its North American tour with a July 14-15 stand at New York's Madison Square Garden.

Taken from Billboard.com

OMG!!! Free is for me!!! I so want to go!! Waah.... I really don't have anyone who will go with me. Shit stains! This bites my behind. Big time. I'll have to see what I can muster up. I can probably force Daniela to go with me... let's see what ticket distribution entails though... See Jon knows... he knows I'm having a baby and can't afford his "affordable" $300 seats  so he's doing a concert for free just for me.

Don't ever say Jon never did anything for me... :-)

We watched Fool's Gold this weekend. Andrew went to the video store to rent a movie and I was thinking a great action flick when he came back with this. He knows I adore Kate Hudson but I can't stand Matthew Macaughna-whatever.

About 2 seconds into it, Andrew asked if he HAD to watch it. I felt the same way but we started to watch it and I wanted to spend time with him, so I held him hostage until the movie ended. :-)

It was difficult to get into but it was cute and fine to kill a boring saturday with. 

In other more exciting news, Gossip Girl is filming right next door to where I work right this very second. Chace Crawford is incredible looking in person, although, a bit on the thin side and Blake Lively really is that pretty. Leighton Meester is quite stunning herself. I tried to get photos with my cell but I was peaking through the parking lot beneath a tree and the damn branches and leaves kept covering the skinny people.

I actually thought about fainting so that the production people would run over and bring me to recover in Chace Crawford's trailor but then I thought better of it. I mean, if I get to be a cougar to Chace's kitten, well, I don't want to be 5 1/2 months pregnant at the time. And for those of you that don't know who Chace Crawford is, well here's some eye candy for you...

 

 

He is so hot, isn't he? Gawd... he's a baby. 11 years younger than me. Ugh! How did THIS happen?   

She would definitely have one of these babies. This is the Louis Vuitton Baby Bag. Guess how much it costs... okay give up? $2,120... Yes, $2,120 for a a bag that will inevitably have forumula or breast milk spilled all over it, spit up soiling the magnificant LV logos on the outside and something unspeakable elsewhere.

Me? I've registered at Pottery Barn Kids for this one:

It's made out of a "wipe-clean" material and comes with a changing pad made from the same stuff and a key holder! It's cute and easy enough for both Andrew and I to carry without one of us feeling uncomfortable (ya know, not too masculine or too feminine...). And it's $59 which is a little more in my league... 

 

I couldn't sleep a wink last night. I was so overwhelmed by anxiety and nerves about today's anatomy/level II ultrasound that I could barely shut my eyes. When the time finally came, and thank GOD I made a 9 am appointment, we went to the hospital and went upstairs to the perinatologist/anti-partum testing unit and sat. We waited for about 20 minutes when the technician finally called us in.

The room was dim, as they all are for ultra-sounds but the machine was definitely deluxe and there was a flat panel TV across from the table that I would lay on so that Andrew and I could see everything the technician was doing without turning to face the actual machine. It was great!

After squirting cold gel over me (whomever invents an ultrasound warming gel will be rich), she started to place the piece that goes over my belly and turned up the sound and the sweetest sound ever to grace my ears came across loud speakers... the heart beat, wooshing like train passing by. I automatically felt my tears welling up and spilling over. There was a piece of me so relieved to simply hear that the heart was beating, strong...

She went over close ups of the hands, the feet, the head, the brain... everything. Then the last piece she went over was... his penis! It's a boy. We have a son. I was already crying and when she said, it's a boy... I cried even harder.

She left us alone while the perinatologist came in and she went over everything again with the machine but included a close up of his heart, his neck, his spine and his skull. No spina bifida. The nuchal fold was fine, everything looked perfect. The Perinatologist walked us through the arteries of his heart, the back of his neck (nuchal fold) and what things would look like if he weren't perfect... she said he was very "photogenic" although he moved too much!

We talked about my MTHFR and she was thrilled with my homocysteine levels, she gave me a CLEAN bill of health with NO risks from MTHFR to the baby and asked me to come back for a routine measuring scan in 8 weeks. So without further adue, here is my son: Andrew John III aka Drew

 

 

 

Look at the first post you ever wrote on Vox. What important developments or changes have occurred in your life since then?
Submitted by Alexandra.

This is actually my first Question of the Day but so much has changed in my life that I almost feel compelled to answer. My very first Vox post was 2 days after my D&C for my first pregnancy and subsequent missed  miscarriage. I was still in a haze of confusion, anger, sadness and started this blog at the suggestion of my husband as a way to deal with the mess my mind was in after that experience.

What's changed?

I'm pregnant, 19 weeks today, with our first child (I will not cry... I will not cry -- happy tears, damn hormones). I'm not sad, angry or depressed and I'm no longer under the haziness that clouded my brain for a while after that experience. I've learned so much since then. I've learned more about my body, the miracle it can create and what it needs to support that miracle than I ever would have dreamed of knowing. I've learned how to assert myself in situations that might not be easy to assert myself in and I've met so many wonderful people (Trapped... you are so on the top of that list!) through this experience that I could never take it back.

That's one thing that I've begun to realize about terrible experiences. You run to avoid them but they truly signal a crossroads in your life. Embrace them and you'll end up exactly where you want to be once you get past the mayhem (hear that Dani?)... it's not the easiest thing to do but then again, you wouldn't be rewarded at the end if it were...

I'm excited to say that Mariah's third single has been changed from Love Story to I'll be Loving You Long Time. I like Love Story but honestly didn't hear it on the radio and apparently the focus groups that the record company ran agreed 200% stating that Love Story was their least favorite track for a single.

I think the change to Loving You Long Time is a good one... better summer song, happier, more upbeat. Personally, I'd release Migrate but hey, I'll settle.

I'm kind of disappointed with how Bye Bye performed at radio. It's Top 20 but it's not breaking any records -- which Mariah doesn't need to do every time she comes out but I did think I'd hear it on the radio more than I have. Bye Bye wasn't my choice for a second single either, I personally love the song and can't get through one particular line without tearing up but I didn't think it was single material. In my humble opinion, I think they should have released Stay in Love for the follow up to Touch My Body.  They had momentum with TMB and they kind of lost it with Bye Bye. Now for the third single, they have to gain the momentum back to make the single a hit.

I should really be A&R. I'm always right about this stuff... I have an ear... I swear I do! Anayway, Mariah performed at the MTV Music Video Awards in Japan last weekend and the performance of Loving You Long Time is probably the best I've ever seen. It's got energy and her voice is perfect... she did  take the key down a notch in order to be able sing it but it's still amazing to hear how great she sounds live. Amazes me every time I watch her. If this wasn't your favorite song before, it will be after watching this video!

The Tudor's finale was last night. I'm kind of sad to have to wait a few months before seeing Henry again although I must say that I think I need some time to recover. I admit, I watched the finale earlier in the week and I cried. I cried for the injustice, for the horrific events that I knew would take place. I felt for Anne... and Patty, a recent commenter left this comment on another post of mine. I really can't express how greatful I am for comments like this. I couldn't write it better myself so I will leave it to Patty:

 

I watched with interest the scene last night where Anne Boleyn mentions her "little neck" to Master Kingston in the Tower. I think it portrayed part of what Henry had actually found so stimulating about Anne; that she had a "marvelous wit" is mentioned in many accounts of her in history. I think she appreciated this last subtlety of wit, if no one else with her did at the time.

Unfortunately for Anne, she made the mistake of her life when she did actually threaten Cromwell in 1535 to have him executed. Anne was a woman before her time, and didn't think far enough ahead to realize at the end of the day, Cromwell would look to protect himself; it is written that Cromwell "took to his bed" for four days at his home away from Court. When he returned, the plot had been formulated on how to bring Anne low. I would think Cromwell must have been terribly frightened on just what would happen if Anne did have a boy; she would be untouchable at that point, so Cromwell had to move fast.

It does appear that Anne was pregnant when she was executed; the normal course for a woman in the tower (if she was to be executed) was to be examined by a panel of matrons to be sure she wasn't pregnant. Lady Jane Grey went through this examination before her death, and so did others, but Anne didn't. It is also interesting that on April 25th of 1536, Henry writes a letter hinting at Anne's pregnancy, calling her "his most entirely beloved wife and Queen", yet within days she was doomed. Cromwell had returned to Court, and his ability to make Henry believe the baby she carried was not his was devastating for Anne.

It is also interesting to note that Henry's love letters to Anne reside of all places in the Vatican! During Anne's lifetime, their actually was no mention of the supposed sixth finger nail, or a "wen" on her neck. Surely, given the superstitious thinking of the times, Henry would have had nothing to do with her if she possesd such marks; they would have been considered evil. There was a great rush after her death by the Catholic faction to villify her, and this is when the supposed "wen" on her throat, and the sixth fingernail "some little show of a nail" begin to be mentioned. Of course, the Catholics did not want Elizabeth to suceed, but at the time of Anne's death, that was not even a remote possibility, or so they thought. Was is mentioned repeatedly about Anne is her eyes"which she knew how to use best to her advantage" it was said; her eyes are described as "magnificent, black, and beautiful" by many. Anne was said to be the most gracefuul woman at court; some said the most graceful woman they had ever seen.

 

Patty, amazing comment! You're a wealth of knowledge and I hadn't known much of the above. It is quite interesting to note where their letters reside and the lack of an examination of sorts before Anne's execution. It's a low point in English history in my humble opinion and still relevent and fascinating to this day. Thank you for an amazing comment and I hope to continue to learn from you!

I am more fascinated by Elizabeth after reading more and learning so much about her earlier years. I know it was Henry's last wife who takes the most care for Elizabeth and brings the two somewhat together again. But aside from that I really don't know much... It's interesting to see the correlation between Elizabeth and Anne and how even though she might not have ever known her mother, she certain did possess much of her spunk...

If there's one thing that would be a constant in my life, it would be music. Going through the miscarriage(s) became somewhat easier when I found the right song to describe what was going on inside of my heart and mind. During the years of my angry, misguided youth, music made me feel less alone, more normal, less rebellious -- even though the music I listened to, I'm sure sounded very rebellious.

Music is my friend, my lover, my confidant. It's a love that I've inherited. My mother is the same way. We devour the words of the songs we like and hold them hostage in our minds until the perfect time in our lives calls upon us to release them.

When my friends are going through situations in their lives that are incredibly painful, I give them songs. I can't help it. My mind is a library of music and when a situation reminds me of a song so perfectly, I have to "give it" to someone. Sometimes I tell them about it, sometimes I don't. Depends on the friend and if I think they would feel strange about me telling them about a song that I think is great for them.

So one of my best friend's heart is a bit shattered right now. And I gave this song to her earlier today and she was of course, grateful and completely awed by the fact that the lyrics suit what she is going through as if she wrote the song herself.

Heartbreaks consume you, they shatter you into a million tiny pieces and steal away your hope and condemn you to the dark for a little bit of time. But after a while, the light starts to break through and you emerge, with scars, but you emerge. The music for me is a way to get to the light quicker. Because music and words, they help me understand what's going on when everything around me looks as if it's a little blurry and in the shadows.

I hope the shadows don't last too long sweetie...

 

So I'm talking to my friend Kim this morning and I'm telling her that I can't wait for the baby to kick. I tell her that it was funny, my stomache was twitching last night and you could actually feel the twitches from the outside. She started to laugh at me and said, that WAS the baby kicking!!!

I couldn't help but think, that was it? Really? I was excpecting a hard kick in the gut or something not some cute little twitch. Who knows how long I've been feeling that!

So, 17 weeks, baby kicked. Finally! She said not to expect regular kicks until 6 1/2 months though... she didn't want me to worry about not feeling something every hour...

Baby's kicking!!!! YAY!!!!

Crap... I'm going to obsessed with making this kid kick me aren't I?