46 posts tagged “drew”
There's a lot going on in my life and much of it I can't talk about just yet. It's a big thing and while it can be great, it can also be earth shattering. We just don't know which way our lives are going to go right now.
So I've been at a loss as to what I should be blogging about. I'm really not so sure, to be quite honest and I've been kinda stuck. So I just thought I'd give an update.
I can tell you that Drew, as a pro-golfer this halloween was just the cutest thing ever. He looked adorable and we snapped some pix though I loaded them to snapfish and don't have the photos on my work computer. If you are interested, CLICK HERE to see the pics on my snapfish account...
He's a stunner, my boy. I'm tellin' ya... :)
So today is my first week with a third day in the office. For the past 10 months since returning to work, I've been working two days in the office, and three at home. With Drew's first birthday came an additional day in the office and for that we needed to hire a nanny.
So we interviewed and interviewed through SitterCity.com and came up with two great candidates. We chose one and worked with her through September to get both Drew and her situated and comfortable with one another. Last week she called to tell me she was giving two weeks notice.
Nice that she gave notice but she didn't even start yet. Frustrating. I liked her. She was cute and had all the necessary safety certifications that made me feel safe. But I had this nagging feeling that this was just a job.
The other candidate didn't have the necessary safety certifications but she seemed to fall in love with Drew. The first candidate did not do the ooh'ing an ah'ing that I normally get when people look at him. This second candidate did. She was excited and affectionate and I loved that. I actually thought that was more important than any safety certificate. So when I got the two weeks notice, I called this second candidate and she was still available. Thankfully. And she was available to start today.
The day started rough. Andrew was running late and cursing. After taking him to the train, I ran home to get ready for work, Drew was tired but wanted to cuddle to sleep. The nanny showed up and we went over some things and off I went to work, crying all the way.
I get to work and see two texts with photos of my son fast and sound asleep. I begin crying, again. I get control of myself and not too long after, I get a smiling photo of him in his high chair.
I took a deep breath feeling like it's all going to be okay.
Then I got a call from the nanny saying they were playing outside in his little tykes house that my parents got him and he fell. She was in the house with him and he just tripped over something and fell hitting his forehead with a nice size goose-egg bump on his head and scratches on his nose.
PANIC.
After telling Andrew and my mother, I was running around between phone calls with her, trying to calm Andrew down, and trying to call my mother back who was answering the phone in sheer panic.
I can't tell you how rough it was. I am his mother. I am crying, throwing up at work on breaks and somehow I am the one calm and collected trying to get everyone else to remain calm. He fell. It was a mistake. The girl was near tears and feeling so so so guilty. I mean from her end, what a first day. Here she is trying to make me feel at ease and this happens. She was really guilt-ridden.
Hearing my mom in a panic makes me feel like I have to push my own emotions down so that I can calm her. My husband like any man, gets angry, then upset. So I push my own emotions down to calm him. Then finally my stepfather gets on the phone and I'm overwhelmed, I start crying uncontrollably.
I know he's going to be fine. It's a bump and a scrape. But the frenzy over him falling along with my own spiraling fears of leaving him today is getting to me. And I feel like no one (well, Sharon IM'd me to see how I was holding up) was saying, how are you doing today.
Is that selfish?
Andrew and I decided that every year Drew's birthday would call for a day off and a family day. So for our first annual family day, we went pumpkin picking. It was so nice to go during the week and avoid the crowds. At Drew's young age, he can't really participate in the rides and animal stuff, so it was perfect that during the week those extraneous activities weren't there.
The wind was however. It was so windy that my poor son was clutching me for dear life. And my flipping hair was all over the place.
But we had fun and I think Drew was fascinated by the pumpkin stem. So fascinated that he never looked up. :) He was constantly staring at them!
Enjoy my 1 year old at the pumpkin patch! 1!!!! He's 1!
Dear Drew,
I can't believe that it's already been one year. Today, is your very first birthday. The first of many birthday's, many celebrations of your life. A life your father and I tried so very hard to bring to existence.
I always thought that getting here to your first birthday would mean my journey to have you would be ever more distant. The little girl I could have had would have faded away but the thoughts of my journey and the sadness I felt are still there, pieces of a foundation that is ever present. I'm learning though, that those pieces of the foundation are parts of me. Those snippets of my life make me so very grateful to watch you grow, explore and learn. It deepens and strengthens my love for you in ways I couldn't explain to anyone who isn't part of that horrible sisterhood.
This year has been both amazing and rough. Learning about you the first few months was unbelievable. I remember bringing you home from the hospital and looking at Daddy thinking, What now? We tried for over a year to get to the moment when we'd have a babe in arms and there we were, at THE moment and we had no idea how to leap off. We were so in love with you. So very in love, in ways neither of us expected. We never realized that our lives would suddenly mean so much because you were now a part of us. And once we did, well, you have become our inspiration to do more, try harder, become better people.
There are still times I can't believe your mine. In the hospital after having you, I would hold onto you for hours studying your perfect face in complete disbelief that you were mine. For months after bringing you home, I would sneak into your room just to make sure you were there and this all wasn't some elaborate dream I was having.
But it wasn't. You're not. You are my son. My love. My heart. My entire life. You are everything. And I love you with so much more than just my heart my boy.
Happy Birthday Puppy. Happy Happy Birthday.
xoxo
Love, Mama
Drew's First Birthday went well! I think everyone had a good time and got to at least spend a second with him. My little cousin Samantha took a nap with him in the middle of it and I was so grateful because without her, he would not have slept. He adores her. Like beyond what's normal. She has this long, beautiful curly hair that he loves to play with and she patiently sits there allowing him to. With all the hoopla going on, it was truly the only way he would sleep and as luck would have it she was tired so, she took a nap with him on my bed. I so wish she lived closer, she'd be the perfect mother's helper after school.
My parents were instrumental for this party. This party wouldn't have happened without them, so thank you Mom and Wayne for your time and generosity, you guys amaze me with your ability to give and give and we're thankful.
And of course the gifts, well he got a lot of much needed clothes and pajamas. But he did get a great play house with a slide for outside from my parents, an indoor tent from RH baby and child from my father that is out of this world and an electric quad that my husband wants for himself from my in laws.
Now one more get together to go and the birthday festivities are done. I can't believe my boy is going to be one. ONE. Ugh. I feel the tears so it's time to end it...
Do you think it's a sign that my son will smile amid a tantrum when he feels long hair is within his grasp? No?
How about the fact that long hair coupled with dancing will make him giggle? No?
Well, then how about the fact that if a woman with long hair dances for him and decides to sing as well then he proceeds to do nice to her breast.
Yep. I thought that you would be convinced at that.
I am too.
My son is going to love Strippers.
Eh.
Like mother, Like son.
:-)
He just makes me smile. Look at that face... heaven, right there. :) I already did an 11 month update but I had to post these pictured because he is a stunner. Because I like looking at him... and because it's my blog and I can. :)
It's been an exciting month for my boy. He went from unsteadily pulling himself up to sailing along from edge to edge and walking with no problem while holding onto things. I'm positive that he's going to walk soon and I'm hoping it's in my presence rather than anyone else's!
He also cut 4 teeth. In one week. It was quite painful for both of us. It's funny to see him smile and see these bright white buds shining back at me. I keep thinking he put something in his mouth that shouldn't be there!
Most important this month was the appearance of mama. My boy said Mama. It was heaven and though i still doubt whether he's looking at ME and saying Mama, hearing that mama babble is just as good for me.
Do you remember being a kid in class when all of a sudden the chalk would screech on the chalkboard sending the entire class into raucous yelling? Well, as of late, I am feeling a lot like that irritated child. Why?
Oh because my son has discovered that if he clenches his jaw together those new white things in his mouth make this noise that makes mommy and daddy NUTS.
NUTS.
As in OHMYGODPLEASESTOPNOW.
The only thing I can do is gently touch his cheeks to get him to let go a bit. But now I've realized that the fun of me saying HOLYMOTHEROFGOD every time he does it is kinda what encourages it.
The problem is I can't stop. The moment the sound is made my shoulders shrivel to my ears and my voice releases a high pitched squeal and words bordering on profanity.
Advice anyone?
It really was an ordinary day. My mom came over. I went to work. It was a little slow so I decided to start shopping around virtually for Drew's first birthday. I have to say that most party supply websites really are rather generic looking. In a world of personalization and customization, I was rather shocked to see cookie cutter graphics and cheap looking materials.
Then, I joined the rest of the world and discovered Etsy.
Now you you might be thinking, where in the world has this chick been? Well... I don't know. My good friend J has mentioned Etsy a number of times and to be honest, she gets super excited about anything new, a charming trait that I adore, but it kind of leads me to write many things off. Etsy was one of them.
So far I've ordered a tee shirt for him to get his first birthday photos in and to wear at the party. I emailed someone about a banner for the fence and for inside our house and I emailed someone about creating a crown and a bib. I'm so excited. Everything is so much more, and forgive my term here and don't think less of me for this deep dark secret, Martha. There it's out. I adore Martha Stewart. I can't help it. It's a good thing.
So excited as I was I came home to my mother and my son. I showed mom all my good finds, she was just as excited and then it happened.
MA MA.
He was crawling around the floor looked up and said Ma Ma as if he'd always known how. My first reaction was not what I expected. I looked at my mother and said, he doesn't know it's me. He's just saying it. Then it happened again. And he was looking at me.
Ma Ma.
That's me.
Ma ma.
Then I laughed, cried and kissed him a ridiculous amount of times.
I'm Mama. Nice to meet you.
